Judgment steals attention; discernment pays attention.


If you want others to be nice to you, be nice to them. If you don’t want others to be mean to you, don’t be mean to them. Bullies ignore both of these rules. When bullies put your own pain, fear, and hurt feelings out on everyone else, they haven’t gotten rid of it: they’ve only spread it around, and it’s so sticky everyone starts hurting and being afraid.

Only a bully makes you pay ten times for something he thinks you have done to him. But making someone more wrong doesn’t every make the bully more right: it only diverts everyone’s attention from the real problem: that the bully was never taught how to manage himself well.

A bully thinks that everyone is his enemy, so he has no friends. His worst enemy is himself, because he lets himself think that being good to others cannot work.

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