For some people, it seems so easy to try to get rid of their hurt and anger by hurting others, and being angry at them, But this does nothing to heal the hurt and anger in the person that is hurt, and it only spreads the anger around, like gasoline, so that its fumes make everyone sick, and sometimes one little last thing can make everything explode. Being hurt is inevitable, though, because people make mistakes, misunderstand things, and get confused a lot. It’s so easy to hurt someone without meaning to hurt them when you make a mistake, or are confused or misunderstand! It’s so easy, I wonder why anyone hurts anyone else on purpose: there is usually enough hurt already going on to add to more. Getting angry at others just adds more anger. Hurting others because you hurt just makes more hurt. The thing to to is to understand why you are angry, and work to fix it, and to understand why you feel hurt, and work to fix that too. It is always best to be kind, if you can: kind to yourself and to others as well.
When you do something well, you feel good. When you do something good, you feel well. When you fell well, you find it easy to be kind to people, to be happy with them and to smile. This often lead to your doing good: you help someone, or fix something that needs to be fixed, or sometimes even do what you are asked to, like clean up your room. All of this because you have done something well, and you feel good. So, doing well matters a lot!
When you do something poorly, you feel a little angry, a little sad, and a lot as though you have failed. Now, failing is very hard: when you fail, lots of people are likely to tell you you’re a loser, stupid, dumb, of anything else that makes you feel worse. They do this because they are afraid of doing something poorly, and they don’t want to feel bad. They don’t want to feel bad so much that they blame you for reminding them. So, often they hurt you rather than helping you or supporting you. It’s strange, but that is often how it is. And then, because you are feeling bad twice over, first because you have not done well, and second because others have made you feel worse. you can certainly guess what happens! More bad feeling goes around, and everyone ends up miserable.
Doing something well matters a lot; feeling good matters a lot!
There are many times when we hear of someone that has some trouble in his or her life: that person’s sick, or paraplegic, or was badly injured in a car accident, and we so often say, “How terrible! What a tragedy!” I believe it is our own memories of heaven that make us wish for everything to work right: that things will open up for us when we need them, the good guys always win, and no one gets hurt too badly.
However, the Earth is the place where unfair things happen: the good person is the one who drowns saving a bad one, or the mother that has several children that love and depend upon her is the one that is killed by a drunk driver that gets off without a scratch. This unfairness is hard to bear, and so often we don’t understand why, or how we can make sense of these bad things happening, especially to good people. It is not easy to comfort ourselves thinking, “Yes, this is unfair: it should be another way, but on Earth, it isn’t.” We want life to be fair, and it isn’t!
But w can be fair. We can choose to be fair to others, to ourselves, and to make things go smoothly for as many people as we can. We can choose to make things right. And that will change the world for the better right there.
To me, ugly isn’t being 20, 30, 100 or any pounds “overweight:” it’s rejecting, hating, teasing or disdaining anyone who is. You do not know what strains, stresses, deep hurts or tragedies have driven this person to overeat You might be afraid that their imperfections will rub off on you! But you are more perfect when you are kind than when you are thin.
To me, ugly isn’t having a body that has this lump here, or that crooked thing there: it’s judging someone as inferior, worthless, or stupid because of these little flaws, instead of remembering, “Handsome is as handsome does.”
What have you done that is beautiful today? Have you encouraged someone who is scared? Have you asked if someone needs help, and then helped them when they asked? Have you stepped back and considered what you are going to say, instead of hurting someone because you are hurting? Have you been kind to yourself, too?
All these things are beautiful. None of them are ugly, It is true, ugliness brings everything down. So, don’t be ugly! When in doubt, do the loving thing,