Some people find it easier to hate than to do anything else. They find it easier to hate than to learn something new without fighting, to see something from another person’s point of view, and easier to hate than to control themselves. For some, hate is too easy! If they don’t understand something or someone, they can hate it instead of learning. If they don’t know how to be kind, or to reach into their own understanding of themselves to understand the other person, they can hate. If they are too tired, or too angry, or too sad, or just too lazy to care about what they do to others, some people always seem to use hate. Because when you hate someone, you can blame them, and you don’t ever have to look at where you might have to blame yourself for why things aren’t working in your life.
Yes, hate seems easy. But it’s really lazy and stupid.
If you are honest with yourself, you have someone you can trust; if you lie to yourself, it will be impossible to trust anyone. But lies can be addictive: they can take you over and live for themselves, eating you hollow sometimes. It particularly seems easy to lie by omission, or by saying nothing of what you have done. But you will know: you will always know, when you have lied, and not taken responsibility.
You trust yourself by keeping promises, by being kind to yourself, without being indulgent or giving in to things that are not in your best interest. You can trust yourself when you don’t make excuses, foisting responsibility off for your own actions onto someone or something else, What you have done is what you have done! If you have done wrong, whether to yourself or someone else, then fix it, or at least apologize. Respect yourself; nourish yourself;value yourself and always work to do better with yourself and others. This will make you reliable to yourself, and to everyone. And no one can take that away from you.
When we feel hurt, sad, or frightened, people immediately ask, “What’s wrong?” And of course our very good minds will come up with lots and lots of reason why we feel bad, lots and lots of things that make us feel sad, and all sorts of things to scare ourselves with. We have been trained to believe that paying attention to loss, misery, anxiety and despair is far more “realistic” than just paying attention to success, joy, confidence and hope. But why? If everything is random, then it should not matter too much what we pay attention to, or don’t; and if our reality actually responds to what we think, what we imagine, what we believe and hope, then it makes more sense to live being more aware of joy than grief, more aware of success than failure, and more aware of what is good in our lives than perpetually answering that question, “What’s wrong?“