When in Doubt, Lead from the Heart

Many year ago, I read a beautiful phrase in a book: “When in doubt, do the loving thing,”

To me, that is such a fine way to live. There are so many times when you don’t know what to do; there are so many times when things are difficult, puzzling, or sometimes even scary. You can hide your fear with anger; you can keep people away from you by being mean and belligerent, or you can stay away from everyone and not do anything. None of these ideas work very well and they certainly don’t make you feel happier. A lot of these ways are easy: sometimes it takes a lot of thinking to come up with a loving way, And sometimes you really don’t know what to do. But if you can’t do anything else, just feel your heart and feel the love in it.

You might be quite surprised that a new answer about what to do with the difficult or uncomfortable situation you are in will suddenly be there. The loving thing is not only “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” That certainly works better than being mean to people because you feel sad or tired or afraid. But sometimes, if you like something and you would really love it if someone else did it for you or gave it to you, you have to remember: not everyone likes what you do. Not everyone wants what you do.

So a better version is, “Do NOT do unto others as you would NOT want them to do unto you.” This means, after you start with the basics like, “I don’t like to be called bad names,” and, “I don’t like to have something mean done to me, then you think about how that other person is different than you are, and how you could show your love to them with something they like, and by not doing something they don’t like.

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