Bullies don’t want you to know that they are afraid. They don’t want you to know how bad they feel already and how much they don’t know how to feel good. It’s true! Bullies aren’t happy people: they are very unhappy. A lot of them don’t know how to love themselves or anyone else and they really don’t know how to accept love from anyone else either and that can be so hard!
Some people who bully others, especially anyone weaker, younger or more helpless than they feel, feel so bad about themselves inside that if someone tells them they did a good job, or that they are special or smart or kind, they shake what’s being said off. They say, “Oh, you’re just saying that!” Or they can say, “Yeah! And don’t you forget it!” meanwhile feeling that no, they are not kind, or special or smart or anything good at all.
Think about this. Too many bullies throw their own self-hatred around onto others… anonymously. They pour out how they feel in posts, or cruel comments on social media, under a false name. They don’t want to be found out! They never want anyone else to know that it is they that feel they are bad and worthless, so bad and worthless that, if anyone ever found out they would have every little good thing taken away from them for punishment.
The trouble is: they are taking their own good things away from themselves, all the time! It’s hard to keep up on top by finding victims that can’t defend themselves: you never know when your victim will seem harmless, helpless or hopeless and actually turn out to be a black belt in Karate or who knows Aikido. It’s hard to keep diverting everyone else’s attention from something inside of them that hurts so much they really want to scream at the things inside of themselves that make them feel so bad: “Stop it! Stop making me feel so bad I can’t even breathe!”