Two Wrongs

There is an old saying: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” This can mean a lot of things: if someone hits you, hitting them back doesn’t make you better, or what he did better, or anything else better. Yes, he or she was likely wrong to hit you in the first place, though maybe not: if you called him or her a bad name or knocked into him “accidentally on purpose” you are in the wrong. So, again, hour hurting him didn’t make his hurting you good: it made everything worse. 

You see: giving someone back his bad feeling, harming him or her because you felt she harmed you or, worse yet, hurting other people because you’re in pain from something inside of you, helps nothing. It doesn’t help your pain to hurt someone else: in fact, not only will you feel worse you will likely get in trouble and that will make you hurt even more. Striking out at someone doesn’t do anything for the real problem, which is that you are feeling frustrated, angry, scared, guilty, ashamed or alone. 

When you are frustrated, the thing to do is to figure out what the problem is and maybe ask for help so you can solve it. If you’re angry, you need to know why, The sad thing is that you’re probably angry because someone hurt you, right? Once you know why you are angry, though, you can work to fix it. But if you’ve pushed your anger out onto someone else, you’ve made the anger go away from you, now you can’t figure out why you’re angry or what made you mad, so you can never fix anything. If you’re scared, sometimes there are very, very good reasons, and hitting someone else can’t help any of those. When you’re guilty or ashamed, it’s because you want to remember that you did something that wasn’t the best you could do. And if you feel alone, hitting people will make them go further and further away from you. 

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