Learning how to govern your own thoughts takes a long time, but it is easier if you notice that you are thinking about your thinking all the time. And if you understand that your thoughts have their roots in your feelings, you can understand that working on your feelings about something is as important as working with your thoughts. Some weeds grow in bitter, acid soil; and bad thoughts happen when you are sad, angry or hurt, and you don’t know how to make yourself feel better.
When you are kind and sweet to yourself, good thoughts find it easier to grow. When you are kind to others, it’s even easier than that. If you are hurting too much, or too angry, frustrated, or sad to be kind, it’s time to ask for help. There are many people in the world who know how to be kind: ask them how. Being mean because you’re hurting doesn’t help your hurt: it only spreads it around, like spraying poison all over everything, and that helps no one at all.