Sometimes you can be angry with someone, or even say you hate someone, because they remind you of something in our your self, You can be angry at your mother because she tells you that you can’t have the thing that you really know inside yourself would not be a good thing after all. Maybe you really know inside that the thing you think would be so good, would really not work or would really be bad for you in the long run or would even hurt someone else. But it is easier to be mad at your mother, father, sibling, friend, teacher or other advisor because you don’t want to look inside of yourself. It’s too hard to feel the shame, or the guilt, or even the worry. So, you dump it outside, and usually either the one that tells you it’s wrong, or even the person that you’ve done wrong to gets the blame for how you feel.
Feeling guilty is painful, and hard to do. Feeling shame because you have acted badly feels even worse sometimes. But blaming other people for what you have done makes everything stop in place. You can’t feel the guilt because you’ve made the other person have it. You can’t feel the shame because you’re found someone else to blame for it, This way, you never have to look inside yourself at all! Except that you do know the truth inside. The people that used to own slaves maybe hated slaves because they reminded the slave-owners of how wrong slavery is, and the slave-owners didn’t want to be reminded. But the truth of their guilt or shame would not leave them alone, so they had to hate the slaves more in order to try to make the slaves to blame. This can happen with any kind of person, any kind of situation.
So, the next time you say you hate someone, ask yourself: “Where am I feeling guilty or ashamed inside? Where don’t I want to look? Where am I blaming them for the things I don’t want to see inside myself?“