Sometimes, you want to be mean to other people. It doesn’t really matter why you do: you just want to be mean. But if you don’t know why you are being mean, if you don’t understand why you are hurting so much that you want to make someone else hurt, then it’s like you’re sleepwalking. If you do things when you’re sleepwalking like this, you can’t know how silly it looks.
You’re mad at yourself, but you don’t know, so you think you are mad at everyone else. You’re really feeling sad, or frightened, or lonely but, if you don’t know this, you can act stupidly and hit someone instead of asking for help. You can do something really dumb like breaking something or stealing something or doing something you shouldn’t. Why? Just because you feel bad and don’t know why!
This is silly, like digging a hole in the ground because you were told to sweep the porch, like messing up your room because you don’t want to feed the dog or forgetting your homework because you didn’t want to feel your feelings, understand them and get someone to help you. It’s silly when you don’t look at the real reasons why you do things and it’s silly to pretend that your feelings don’t exist. Sometimes, yes, it’s true that when you are angry you can work the anger out: chopping wood, vacuuming the stairs or pulling your bed apart so it can be washed. But if you forget your feelings while you are doing these things, then it’s silly because your feelings are the real problem, not the bed, the wood or anything else.
It’s particularly silly when you hurt someone else because you’re feeling sad or lonely or frightened: your fear or sadness or loneliness do not go away! In fact, they can all get worse because you’re been silly: you think that if you can do something else that you can make those feelings go away But that never works.