Losing someone changes everything, especially when it is unexpected. At the same time, in this terrible light of grief’s shock, you always have the opportunity to understand what really matters to you, and what is really true for you. It can shake you out of your trance of self-concern; it can break you free of what you thought you knew, but were really not careful enough to understand. Grief can be bleak and bitter, but it is the most human thing about any of us. Embrace the humanity it reveals, and the tenderness it creates.