Monthly Archives: November 2017

Nerves

Some people are convinced they are nervous. When they hear a loud sound they jump or flinch; when someone comes in the room the nervous person feels like he or she needs to draw in a bit, as though trying to be invisible. Some people who feel they are nervous talk, all the time: they don’t let anyone else say anything because they are so afraid of what others will say about them that they drown out even the chance of someone saying something bad about them. Other people who feel they have “nerves” cannot seem to get comfortable: they fuss about this or that thing not being right; they fuss and re-arrange pillows, blankets or other things as they are trying to sleep; they need their special types of food, clothing, pillows, their usual phones, pens, favorite scarf or jacket or whatever: they hate to have things change. Some people call them silly; some people call them stupid; some people know that nervous people are nervous for a reason: they have been badly frightened or they have been taught to be nervous or they are actually very, very sensitive.

If someone has been frightened a lot when they are young because of bad arguments in the family on where they live, with shouting, threats, violent rage or even gunfire, of course they will be nervous: they really are not safe where they are, and they are not foolish to flinch, or to keep feeling the fear they were taught to have. This is something very sad, not something to tease anyone about. If someone has been taught to be nervous by someone in their family, by friends who are nervous or even if they are made to be feel nervous by cruel people who feel better when they make someone else weak, this is also very sad. 

But if someone is “nervous” because he or she is is sensitive, then that person not only has to protect him or herself from others, that person needs to give himself love. To be sensitive is like seeing color! It’s like hearing sounds that no one else can. Being sensitive means that this person can see further than others, deeper than many, and can learn things that everyone actually needs to know, if only they are left in a quiet place to do it. 

“I’ll Do I Later”

Sometimes you take the lazy way through life, especially things that you feel you have to do. Is there something your mother, father, sweetheart or best friend asked you do do? If you wanted to do it, you likely would have done it fight away: made your bed so you have somewhere nice to sleep tonight; taken out the garbage so it doesn’t cascade and fall on the kitchen floor and stink or something. Maybe your sweetheart asked you to pick up some extra food for dinner on the way home; maybe your best friend asked you to call her mother to tell her something important. If you really want to do these things, you’ll do them. But it you don’t, you won’t. However, you need to consider that if you can always look for reasons why you don‘t want to do something, you can always find reasons to want to do something.

If taking the garbage out is a chore you can think about how good the kitchen or your room will smell when  you do. If your friend needs help, think of how nice it will be when your friend is happy; think of how easy things will be when that extra thing your sweetheart asked you to bring home will make things for you. Making your bed is a chore, but you can always realize that you’re really helping yourself: if you make your bed, it will be made when you go to bed tonight, and not a messy, uncomfortable mess.  Think of how the chores will benefit you, and it makes things much easier to do.

The other thing that a lot of people do when they don’t want to do something is to say, “I’ll do it later.” That is usually fine: if the thing your sweetheart needed from the market to add to the dinner doesn’t come in time, you’ll have an argument and perhaps not a good dinner, but big deal: it’s still food. If your bed isn’t made, big deal: maybe you’ll get used to sleeping in a wrinkled, smelly bed. If you don’t do what your friend needs, well, maybe they can get someone else to do it. They might be mad at you for a while, but you’ll be fine. If your friend’s mother didn’t get called, they’ll work it out, right?

But meanwhile: you’re sleeping in a wrinkly, smelly bed after you didn’t have a very nice dinner because the kitchen stank, your sweetheart didn’t have the food he or she needed to make an especially good dinner and by the way, your friend’s furious with you.

Ask yourself: was being lazy worth it?